Sometimes I wish that I had a dagger that I can use to bring me back to certain points in my life especially during those times that I had to make a difficult decision - most especially when I made a wrong decision. Or maybe I am still experiencing the after shock effect of “The Prince of Persia”, the movie me and my wife watched just before the start of the new school year for our kids. The truth is, I am really wishing for that dagger, simply because we are facing a lot of difficult decisions right now.
The year 2010 came and is still coming with so many changes both in our personal lives and ministry. Changes that we anticipated and changes that surprised us both brought tears, joy, frustrations and excitement to our lives. Big or small, whether we wanted it or not, still those changes affected us in so many ways. Changes like my father's passing away unexpectedly; team members returning to their own country for good; my sister's plan to get married; new leadership in our church partners; soon, I'll have a teen-ager in the house; our house and the YM office's expiring rental contracts, etc.
Should we transfer to a new location? Where will my daughter get his secondary education? Can we still handle the ministry that we have lesser workers than before? Who should I put in-charge of our major ministries?
Honestly, I am just afraid - afraid to make a bad decision. The “what ifs” clog my mind.
What if the owner did not renew contract with us and we couldn't find a new house to rent, where will we live? What if the person I tapped as the new ministry leader was not really capable? What if the new project we just started was not part of God's direction for our team?
I just want to do it perfectly.
Then the Lord reminded me of the verse He gave me for the New Year. Genesis 12:1-3. That was when God called Abraham (he was still known as Abram that time) to leave his country and go to a land that God will show him. How difficult that change and that decision must be for Abraham. But the Bible didn't mention of any dagger in Abraham's possession. Actually he did (the one he wanted to use when God asked Abraham to offer Isaac to Him), but he never got to use it because he had something way better than any daggers. That is his faith with His God.
I realized that I don't have to go back to my past to correct my mistakes. I just have to trust in God who called me for His purpose. Yes, I will make mistakes (and I need to learn from them), but God assures me that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV). He will also show me His direction as I seek Him and follow Him in faith, just like when Abraham obeyed Him and left his country - He showed Abraham where to go as he went.
I will never be able to do it perfectly.
I will make mistakes along the way. Many times I will fall flat on my face just like what I have experienced many times in the past. The good news is God will always be there. He promised to be with us until the end of the age. He will never leave us nor forsake us. God corrects and rebukes us, but He also encourages and strengthens us so we can continue with the journey He has called us to undertake.
Changes and decisions will always be a part of our lives, but with God leading the way what else do we need. What are we afraid of? Truly, the Apostle Paul was perfectly right when he said, “If God is for us, who can be against us? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”
(Romans 8:31, 37 NIV)
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